Wow! I’m back! I don’t even know where to start, so much has happened…
I’m finally starting to get more settled in in my room. It took a lot longer to get everything arranged than I expected, but my room is definitely less than a mess than when we started! There was lots of unpacking, organizing, meeting, shopping, and cleaning to do, but we managed to get it all done.
Along with unpacking and organizing, I had lots of different appointments I had to make it to over the past couple days. As soon as we started moving in, I had to be taught how to use the lift system in the room. I ended up asking them to remove it because it would just take up space and I don’t plan on using it.
I also had to meet with the furniture installation company. They adjusted my bed so I can get in and out easily and lowered the hanging rod in my wardrobe so I can reach.
I met with Social Security, but after waiting an hour and a half was told that they would call me the next day to get the information they need…
Finally, I met with the Personal Care Assistant company; I will be having someone come in twice a week to do my laundry, grocery shop, sweep, take out the trash, things like that. All of the tasks they will be helping me out with I am able to do myself, but I want to conserve my energy so that I can focus on school and fun, while still keeping things clean and taken care of. The Personal Care Assistants can help with a lot more than housekeeping, like help in the bathroom, getting places, taking notes in class, etc., but luckily I don’t need that kind of help, so I’ll be keeping my assistance to the bare minimum.
After all those meetings, I finally got my room set up the way I want it and got things more organized.
I got pretty scared at the beginning, because all the hard work and going nonstop really wore on me, a lot more than I expected. I was having lots of pain, which I don’t experience as much as I used to, and it made me realize that this is probably going to be harder than I anticipated.
I feel pretty settled in now, but it still doesn’t feel real. Classes don’t start for a couple weeks and recruitment for my sorority hasn’t started yet, so right now I kind of feel like I’m in limbo, waiting for normal life to start.
Over the weekend, I was so busy rushing around that I barely had time to take a break, but now that my mom’s gone, my room’s situated, and I’ve met with most of the people I needed to meet with, I’m kind of in a waiting period.
Waiting for everyone else to get here, waiting for recruitment to start, waiting for school to begin, waiting for football; I’m not really sure what to do with myself right now, but I’m thankful for the rest period before things get even more hectic.
I have so many thoughts of excitement and fear running through my head at this time. I’m so excited to be back with my friends, back in school, back to college life, but also so afraid of all the what if’s and unknowns.
I’m worried about what people will think about me and if they’ll accept me. I’m worried I’m not going to be able to keep up in the way I want to. I’m worried I won’t be able to do certain things because they won’t be accessible. And I’m TERRIFIED I’m going to get sick or have my symptoms flare.
I think I’m pretty good at watching myself to make sure I don’t overdo it, but I know I’m still going to try to keep up. I’m going to think that I’ll be able to do as much as I used to and survive on little sleep, but I know that’s not the case anymore. It’s going to be hard keeping myself from doing some of the things I want to do, so that I’ll be able to keep doing the things I want to do.
It’s definitely going to be a challenge balancing going to school, having fun, and staying healthy, but I’m up for the challenge. I’m ready to take the risk that something bad could happen, because it means that I get to be back in my place, with my people, living my life.
I’m ready to beat the odds, jump the hurdles, and problem solve my way to the life I want to live.